Keepin' Up with the Joneses
Drive an SUV that will seat eight 
  but I always drive alone
Got internet access and a color screen
  on my telephone
Lost most of my hair but I pay a hundred bucks
  to have it trimmed at a salon
Think of myself as a king and everyone else
  like they're less than a pawn

Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses

Watch reruns with surround sound
  on my big screen TV
My wife is gone to see the doc,
  cosmetic surgery
She wants a little nip & tuck,
  a new chest, 36D
Itís how you look, not how you feel,
  on that we all agree

Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses
But theyíre not keepiní up with me

The grass is always greener around
  my new swimming pool
It makes my neighbors jealous and
  I think thatís pretty cool
I guess someday Iíll have to pay
  for the error of my sins
But he who dies with the most toys
  always wins - Iím gonna win, yeah!

A house, three boats, vacation home,
  all measures of success
These things of mine, they sure are fine
  intended to impress
Iíll raise the bar, get a brand new car
  and a 5-star beach resort
Of all the games, one-upsmanship
  is now my favorite sport

Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses
Keepiní up with the Joneses
Weíre keepiní up with the Joneses
But theyíre not keepiní up with me